“Watch me getting physical. Out of control, There’s people watching me. I never miss a beat.” – Cascada/Evacuate the Dancefloor
The anticipated fitness benefits and the forced accountability ranked high on my list of reasons to take the waver job. I dubbed the workout “Liberty Insanity” and “P240X-the LTS version.”
Four hours of physical activity at least three times a week! How could I not lose weight and increase stamina? It was 100% more than what I was doing. Even if I only walked back and forth waving I was sure to see results. I intended to put more cardio effort into it by dancing and incorporating strength and toning movements.
I do hate exercise. I always have. I don’t like to get out of breath, and I don’t like to sweat. This makes it very difficult to engage in exercise regularly. I don’t care for sports either. The only reason I ever registered for local running events was to participate in the costume contests. Running is used to escape something or get somewhere fast. I’m rarely in a hurry.
So what would motivate me to exercise? Maybe if I saw some significant results. Unfortunately, it’s never happened. I’ve been enrolled in exercise programs at the gym with a trainer’s guidance and experienced no more than 3 pounds weight loss. I’ve done Zumba, finning, stepping, treading, running, cycling, Wii fitness and exercise DVDs – no big change. I have a history of great disappointment when it comes to diet, exercise and weight loss.
So what was going to work for me?
I was willing to give Lady Liberty a chance as my personal trainer. She had three months to get me in shape. I worked hard. I was often out of breath when I’d go in the office for a short break. I kept a large bottle of water with me on the street and filled it at least three times during a shift. I danced, jumped, walked, marched and did several toning exercises to target arms, thighs and glutes.
A week before I started waving I cut wheat out of my diet. I felt less bloated and more comfortable. I lost five pounds in a week. That was surprising, but I knew it wasn’t fat loss. Something else was going on in my body but I was still encouraged.
I weighed myself on January 17, my first day as Lady Liberty. The scale read 159 lbs.
A week later I was up a pound. (160)
At the end of the second week I was down two pounds. (158)
Over the next eight weeks my weight fluctuated 1-3 pounds up and down.
I was not happy about this but was determined to give Liberty a chance. At some point I figured I’d turn a corner and the numbers would start decreasing. I took a step counter to work and for two weeks I recorded the number of steps I took per hour. The numbers varied depending on my activity, but I was mostly stepping between 3000-4500 steps per hour. I took all the data and came up with an average number of steps per hour. I wanted to know how that translated to distance so I took a walk around the neighborhood and determined that Lady Liberty walked about 1.54 miles an hour. That meant on a four-hour shift I was covering approximately six miles!
Okay, I better see some dramatic results soon! What the heck was going on? Why did my body fight weight loss?
At the end of the ninth week I was down two pounds from my starting weight. (157)
The next week I was up a pound. (158)
It seemed nothing was happening. I was getting discouraged. There was one noticeable difference. My waist shrunk a bit. I was doing a lot of exercise to target that area and I did see some results. I should have taken measurements but I hadn’t thought about that in the beginning. I was able to tighten my belt an extra two holes from when I started. At least there was some progress. I did the standing abs exercises from the Tracy Anderson Mat Routine many times during a shift and added some additional twists and bends which I incorporated into holding the Liberty tax signs. From that same video I used her arm routine as an inspiration for some of my pom pom wielding moves. I do believe there has been some upper arm shrinkage. You can see some of the waist whittling moves here. I also hula-hooped at least 10 – 15 minutes every hour.
As the end of tax season neared I became more discouraged. I started slipping into bad eating habits again. (Cookies, candy, ice cream, bread) I had two more weeks to go and I was nervous about getting back on the scale. At least I still had that regular exercise!
After two weeks of eating crap I lost two pounds. WHAT? I give up.
When it was all over I was up another two pounds making my total weight loss one pound over 13 weeks. (158)
I’m very irritated about this. At least I got paid. I can now use some of that money to buy ice cream, which contrary to what some of you fitness freaks say, really does taste as good as thin feels. Have you ever met Ben and Jerry’s chunky monkey? Indulged in Breyers’ mint chocolate chip? Whipped up a f’real mint-chip milk shake?
Well, technically I guess I’ve never really known what thin feels like, but it’s hard to imagine it feels any better than cool, creamy, sweet, minty, chocolaty goodness gliding across my tongue.
“Who can take tomorrow, dip it in a dream? Separate the sorrow, and collect up all the cream? The Candyman.” – Willy Wonka